When Roger Corman won a Governor's Award tonight, an Oscar for Lifetime Achievement, part of me was thrilled. The other part went, wait a minute, weren't some of his films some of the most outrageous classic horror and exploitation films around, many so bad they're Smithee worthy? It turns out, yes, they are. Let's see what our new Lifetime Achievement winner is responsible for.
Dino Croc (2004)
Nomination Year: 2007That's one Smithee winner right there.
Hey, I watched the clip from this and voted on it!
SYNOPSIS: Produced by Roger Corman, Dino Croc is a classic science-has-produced-a-killer-animal movie. In addition to an annoying kid, it features an Australian crocodile hunter (clearly modeled on Steve Irwin), and an evil corporation (the GEnetic REsearch COrporation, GERECO, pronounced Jericho) ready to lie, cheat, steal, and murder in order to protect its bottom line.
The plot is pretty straightforward. A lab accident allows a genetically-modified crocodile to escape from the GERECO lab. GERECO lies about it to the sheriff, and goes about trying to kill/capture the thing themselves. They fail. It eats several people (including the young brother of the male hero). Our heroes try to catch it, and fail. It eats a waterskier at a nearby lake. The cops try to catch it, and fail. It eats five cops. They lure it into a tunnel and gas it with carbon monoxide. It's dead. The cops and croc hunter go home to sleep.
It's not dead. It attacks our heroes, who lure it into the path of a train. The train hits it. It's dead.
It's not dead. Our male hero takes a railroad spike and pokes its remaining eye out (the croc hunter took one eye with a knife earlier in the movie). It's dead.
Our heroes go on vacation. It's not dead. The end.(?)
"Alas, Poor Yorick"
The Dino Croc is tailing an unsuspecting waterskier, who is having a great time. She goes off a jump, shouts out "Whee!", and with a mighty burst of crummy CGI, the Dino Croc eats her.
Humanoids from the Deep (1996)
Roger Corman Presents 'Humanoids from the Deep'That's a second.
Nomination Year: 2009
Hey, I watched the clip from this and voted on this one, too!
SYNOPSIS: A large cannery (CANCO) has been illegally dumping artificial growth stimulant into the sea, hoping to increase the size of the fish locally caught. A bunch of environmentalists are trying to catch them in the act. Wade Parker (Robert Carradine) works for CANCO, but doesn't know about any of their illegal activity. His life takes a bit of a downturn when he discovers that his daughter is dating Matt, the leader of the environmental activists. It takes a huge downturn when she disappears while they're on a date, and Matt's explanation is that "a sea monster" grabbed her.
The only person who believes Matt is the mysterious "reporter" Dr. Drake (Emma Samms), who asks questions like "How many were there?" instead of "What were you smoking that night?" After Wade helps rescue a man from a fish critter attack, he changes his tune. Then one of the missing women turns up mysteriously pregnant, and explodes in a scene reminiscent of Alien. At this point, Dr Drake calls out the military on live TV. The military comes in, and things go from bad to worse.
"Alas, Poor Yorick" (winner)
Am I detecting a certain pattern to Roger Corman's movies?
Why "Gobsmacked" Can Be a Bad Thing.
Henchman #2 hears Henchman #1 go down into the hold to try and stop up the leak in their boat. Then he hears some thrashing around, and a funny noise. So he heads down below to see what's there. The hold is half-flooded, fuel cans everywhere, gas in the water, Henchman #1's half-eviscerated body being held in the air by a giant hook.... Henchman #2 boggles at the scene, his mouth falling open, and the cigarette falling down into the fuel-soaked waFABOOM!
Black Scorpion (1995)
Roger Corman Presents Black ScorpionNo Alas, Poor Yorick? I guess there wasn't enough gratuitous violence.
Nomination Year: 1999
SYNOPSIS: The Black Scorpion is not your typical super-heroine. For one thing, she has this nifty car that can change into any vehicle she desires. For another, her modus operandi seems to be to capture bad guys by having sex with them. In this film, she battles the vicious Breathtaker and his Wheezing Warriors. Yep, you can probably guess the rest.
Most Ludicrous Premise
The Wheezing Warriors
The Breathtaker tells his story and why he's creating his army of "Wheezing Warriors."
"Let's Up The Rating To 'R'"
About To Be Really Screwed
She has sex with the guy she's about to kill. And it's kinky sex, with vinyl and some SM. Cool.
There's also one nominated for worst cover art, but that's not Roger Corman's fault.
Thought you all might find that amusing.